Poetry For A Lost Generation: November 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

Rendered Blind

I choke up on words
Thoughts rendered useless
words escape like sweet serenity
my mind is tragically entwined with bitterness
signs rendered unseen
the confusion sets in
fear takes hold..
feelings are deteriorating
thoughts rendered blind
i look up only to notice
gray skies reveal
broken dreams
and shattered opinions
filled with images of what should have been done
empty regrets
open shallow promises
of what never happened

Expectations Vs. Reality (The Web We Weave)

Time, the fragmented reflection of ones life
the beauty, hidden away in small illusions
wisping by unnoticeable to the eye
try and focus now, the memories are fleeting
the meanings waste away to nothing somehow
these small synapses tell me they were true
the brain, another tool of misinterpretation
cataclysms of expectations vs. reality
the dreams never seem to mend the stresses of the day
never fully asleep, never fully awake
wake walking through life, confused in this maze

we cherish the nights, but fear the days
the inevitability of the morning sun
the flooding away of all the innocent ones
crawl out of bottles, only to crawl back in
the child in us all, searches for something tangible
something to fill the cracks between these seamless

days, months, weeks, years
that void, ever so clear is never truly quenched
desire tastes like bittersweet poison on the tip of our tongues
restless, alone, were all just searching for our trail back home
with cobweb like maps, were all easily trapped

Copyright* CS 2009

_____ Has Detected Imminent Failure

When its all over, said and done
who do you run to...?
exactly, absolutely no one
stay alone, rediscover yourself
self worth is worth more then anyone else, anyhow
our time is short, make it what it should be worth
sometimes people come and they go
the only one you are left with is you
all of us die alone, but not without influence
have no regrets, put yourself out there
if you don't, how will you ever know otherwise
cancer and disease plague us like an avid third mind
still thats not enough to quit, enough to cease
imminent failure is so evident on the horizon
and its never made so much sense until now
my place in this "game" is so overlooked and unappreciated
i'm one of few to realize this
ill die satisfied even if its tonight or tomorrow
and no one, not even you, can take that away
but still i sit here and question what could have been?
am i crazy, am i delusional, am i wrong?
i guess only time will tell......

Copyright* CS 2008

Illusion Of Enlightenment

Everything is synchronized down to the last breath
the steps we take only define our fate
the choices we make cement our life story
an absence of love dulls his sense of pure being
seeing isn't always believing
walking the path alone
spending years erasing his fears, one by one
he realizes everything just is and we just are
existence in itself will never cease to exist
its all based on the collective consciousness
the simplest truth in a world of words so overused
shatter what you perceive to be true
all the forms and realities you thought you knew
your eyes through all the years have only lied to you
if you believe you need them to see
you'll never be free and struggle to just be

Callous Life Flow

He analyzes and trivializes
the figments of society's imaginations
visions of what he wishes were true
aborting normal consciousness he breaks the mold
shatters words and sentences so bleak and old
killing the moment of clarity in his mind
his ego is smaller, what can he hide behind
cold breaths of perception
follow the path of deaths deception
nervous burning inside for all of time
locked and set for what ive left behind
wait until its right into form it mends
normal reality is twisted in his mind
this time, im flowin and its comin so clear
you better step back and be in fear
i can test you for years
just like i've been studyin my peers
you want some of this come at me
ill snap your neck so quick with a twist
you don't even wanna fucken mess with this
by the look you wouldn't know
but this is a place
i'm sure i'm sure as hell
that you don't want to go
ill make or break your so called steady flow
beyond these limits are boundaries you don't know
if you had the balls to go there you'd be stopped by my flow..
the momentum builds
fighting the thrills put inside his head by 20 dollar bills
take a breathe, inhale
all is well is this chess game of life
years of strife blinded by the light
the end of the tunnel isn't far
its the energy that keeps me going
i struggle so i can stand back up taller
waiting for that day when it sparks again....
some people say i'm gifted
i simply explain that i'm lifted.
if you ever see me around

yo', ya betta holla

Astoria Nervosa

You suck him in with clever lies
that tool, so disguised
a fucking weapon of mass destruction
hidden deep from his eyes
in time it swallows his days
shes oh so deviant with her stellar gaze
hes sure to fall again and again
this weakness, a fallible advantage
his knees grow stiffer by the year he waits for her
"things you love will always leave you hanging"
the quote of love, the quote of life, the quote of death
in the constance of pain
not a damn thing has changed
in his quest for a mate
a lover to desecrate
to tear out her insides and make her irate
these things have gone on for so long
the sun burns for the moon
gravity pulls in the waves to douse the flames
this love is forever doomed
the cycle is stuck on repeat.
but until when?

Copyright* CS 2006

Us and Them

Cascade this incident
cover the tracks
immerse this evening
its bound to happen again
hope falls from wits end
foresight overcast
the form of death
untimely as she is
swept away my friends fate
why must is always be this way
residue thick with regrets
ones that are due without
the chase is evident
worth is based on intent
driving him to madness
a day hell bent on doubt
the am bells strike so loud
erasing the sadness
in this heavy lift cloud
possibilities are endless
as i scream this aloud.
the dates change constantly
as does the time
ticking away endlessly
leaving many trails behind
let us leave this mark
burn your heart like you did mine
finally you can witness
what you've denied.

Copyright* CS 2006

Broken Constellation

In the end ashes and stains smear the insides and out
my pain is lingering like a cloud holding pressure, bursting at the corners
i've felt this way for so long..all these days wasted and gone
numbed by the way her face pierces my brain
multiply the stars
divide the times i've been hurt
i'm a broken constellation
once in form...forever broken
the night accumulated sweat, alcohol, pain and lust
can you tell me which one is the heaviest of sins
i feel all 4 scar me from within
as i'm writing this i'm wondering how you got in
a girl with a power she didn't even know
ill smile on the day when i finally let this go
when i can be proud this bump didn't slow me down
as for now i have this piece of poetry and a memory
the color of your eyes, dancing with the moon
the color of your back in the candlelight, the sweet smell of you
I knew i'd never give this up. so heres the fight.
tonight you better decide whats right in your heart and mind
someday you'll want this and regret. the time to change things is now.....
this loves plight, sent on the eve of twilight.
never reaching its destination
multiply the stars
divide the lines that have been said....
i'm just a broken constellation

if you knew how many words i wasted on you
maybe you'd see it was worth it.

Copyright* CS 2006

The Tragedy Of Human Condition

My knees are bruised
face to the floor
this is the child you bare
is this what i live for
you say you want whats best for me
right now its your hand refraining from my neck
the monster inside you is malicious
jealous of what you cant reach
something that i hold in a firm grasp
your youth was stripped away
all those years spent in hate
fathers name just another part of this petty game
i cant learn respect if you dont teach it
don't expect me to be anything else then me
its the only thing i know, im struggling to be free
we all are. these are just cries for help
i'm surrounded by manipulators
now your on the list...i cant believe it came down to this
you cant even treat your wife right
what a prime example to leave for your son
your twists of control. is all you have over me
if that keeps you on top, so let it be
your not worth the fight.
tonight, i gave up on that life

Copyright* CS 2005

Cycular

When theres no one to call who understands
when this pointless life has no futile plans
i ask my creator what is my worth
am i just another clone destined to be hurt
i can now only trust myself.
this barrier is higher then ever before
with not even one working door
go ahead, pry your way to free my mind
i've seen tragedies, things so benign
you have no idea this trail i leave behind
leaving my mark in so many places
wasting my breath to so many faces
screaming out my lungs as if there not black enough
the cancer conspiracy runs deep
every cough hurts more
for every cigarette that i so sheepishly adore
spilling my words out on this drunken floor
i'm beginning to think
i can't take anymore

Copyright* CS 2005

Season Of Separation

Paint me a lie, shadowed in white
the pale gray sky sinks deep with pink
cascading memories of melancholy bliss
hidden and so transfixed
while hearing so much of my own voice in my head
the sound of the highway keeps the ringing away
the loneliness, is only based on contact
i desperately need to feel alive again
loosen the grasp from which i hold these feelings for you
they hit the floor like broken glass
the love flows from my wounds
showing you i kept it all inside
i whisper in your ear
"since when did everything between us die?"
...and then ever so gently you say...
"from that very moment, I let you slip away,
when our uniform heart,
split into two, and we drifted so far apart...."

Published In The Book Timeless Voices by Poetry.com

Artful Dissension

The complete understanding of everything
life as though slowly wake walking through a dream
teeters endlessly on the edge of consciousness
are we already dead? and just visiting that world we inhabit
deja vu never felt so right, i see people i know but not from real life
the roller coaster only begins here, flashes of my future confront me
holding down what i feel, i try and remember this is all we have
i'm struggling to breathe. pulse drops to zero
why does this land feel so much more deep?
free from the pressure of reality
all i see is beauty and no beauty in the ugly
echoes of my childhood ring out
those worries seemed so strong then
currently, im having trouble just existing
they put a price on my existence.
everything becomes fatal
warm rushes like opiate filled dreams
cloud me in a fever style fashion
detachment never made so much sense
were dismantled from regular contact of both worlds
we decide how to live, and that is thus our answer.
life is one big question that keeps needing the truth
the cycles bring it back. but only temporarily
everything eventually makes it's way back
and around again
in all, life is a gift of gratitude
well never be able to repay.
this could be why we die in agony & pain
to serve the one who could feel
taking on a world full of jealous immortals
thank you god, for giving me this opportunity
from life to death = repeat
to eradicate this land when its doomed to self destruct
the creation for destruction livens everyday
and if i have to see it all fall from wits end
showing no fear
knowing ill be here again
i'll choose the best seat on the house
hanging from a dead star.
in the palace of andromeda

Copyright* CS 2005

Shattered Equilibrium

I'm plagued by this
every thought chased by confusion
every breath restricted by hate
small tastes of fate
one second i'm so content with being alone
the next is spent shivering needing you to come home
concealed in regrets of how sos? and would haves?
in the end this problem was created solely by you
i finally saw something bright in front of me
you shined with that smile i know so well
you were apart of this too
i know you cared
i could hear it in the way you said my name.
it's imprint permanently burned into my brain
knowing your heart beats with mine
it kept me sane, & now that its lost
twist the knife of lust so deep it churns
nothingness is left and i'm inane
everything i felt is ripped from my insides
the blood that spills was my hope for our future
melancholy memories burned & subdued
curiosity killed the slow cat in this case
killed by it's very own savior
now im once again. alone. floating in this universe
searching for the person who sees my importance
joining me in this race to die.
im ready to feel again. being numbed for so long
i guess in all you showed me that i don't need anyone else to be
in the end we all die alone
so why bring down another person.
if freedom is what you needed then so be it.
you have it your away. run far away from all your problems.
the ones im faced with every passing moment
my mind encompasses this tragedy as a novella
once more bitterly compiled poetry
different dead words same dead meaning
adding pages of my pain to these endless numbered day's
im glad i know nothing is that same as meets the eye.
through this short experience.
i learned more then a lifetime.
it's quite funny how time plays tricks

the hours i spent with you were like minutes.
the minutes i stare at these four walls
seem like days running in place in my head
maybe someday ill find a mind who matches my own
until then i will mesh , conjoined among the
unwanted, untouched, unloved spirits of the divine

just never forget my name and what i'm capable of....
mutiny in the sense of false direction.
i smile for my repercussion, for the day when i procure my vengeance
my weapon, the microphone.
the ammunition, my emotions
one day you'll see, what you left burning deep inside of me.

Copyright CS* 2005

Heart Bleeds Static

Do you ever feel choked
straining to breathe in
the life you love, but sometimes loathe
my heart bleeds static on the radio
that dead stale sound
the waves crash
tearing into me like serrated knives
the tides come in full storm
sweeping away this cracked form of mine
struggling i pull myself ashore
breathing for ever more, that breath
the silence afterwards
reveals my greatest weakness
the sickness of love
the one who saves me, also cures me
but burns away inside my mind
every second that passes
without you is wasted
time means nothing
its false accuracy of reality
putting a number on existence
i count back from ten
if i'm not in your arms by then
consider me floating, far away from this place
spending hours in vein
shame blatantly shoved in my face
downright blurred so close that i cant see it
am i willing to. or am i slowly slipping from today
emptiness is only a muttered breath away
::GASP::

Copyright* 2005 CS

We Speak In Whispers & Dreams

Fleeing your touch
the heart strings
that once were mended
snapped in a pair
of uncharted destinies
from this rope hang words
of endearment that ring so loud
you can hear there cries
for desperate attempts
prying the love from inside
taking back whats rightfully mine
pride that stands taller then before
patience is killing influence
motivation for a new beginning
visibly intangible.
slipping right through my fingers
losing in this petty game of life.
we build everything to break
destructing ourselves but also creating
those seconds where nothing mattered
were sadly worth all the guilt
you've instilled upon these fragile eyes of mine
it seems to be emotion over logic this time
you eclipsed this twilight in my mind.

Copyright* 2005 CS

The Sun vs. The Moon

On days like this beauty surrounds the sky
dark clouds disappear mass depression fading
the sun peaks through
guiding us with incandescence
the falling of the tears
reminds us of our worst fears
forgetfulness gets you nowhere
today i am strong
the climax to past months mistakes
these regrets fall from reality
as i fall from you i gain inches closer to myself
i have to keep maintained and focused
even when these fucked up incidences
crowd me. fill me. break me. rebuild me.
the structure of these lies
takes away all faith or hope
leading to an ever so desolate demise
no one is true to their own mind and self
no one can erase the pain their dealt
only trust those who can be themselves
if everyone would take the time
to take care of their own lives
instead of wasting the care and love
that this world tenderly lacks of
still we push on fighting for what we need
what makes us exist, breathe, to be
if we are ever to leave this world
no one will have felt accomplished
so many things to do
places to go
and people to meet.
i guess i'm a bad example of what i want to be.
my aspirations are withering
the only elixir of life left
to rebuild my sense of direction
feeding my dying inspirations
is the simple fact, that i will rise.
sun shedding light
on an otherwise dreary tomorrow

When the Moon hangs over the night sky
the luminescent glow owns everything
captivating us with its beauty
the stars are a part of us
when one burns out, the shine still lingers
only to create another more gorgeous Aster
change is effective directly after day to night
anew, the morning begins amidst the hills
open for improvement, or destruction
the rest of the day is spent in routine
we so slumberly fall back into what we love
*the cycles, the repetition*
it slowly defaces the beauty, builds vanity
*over time*
eventually there will be the end of all days
when the sun and the moon conflict
leaving the world in complete darkness
everything seems so distant
when theres no concept of space and time
what cant be seen, may or may not exist
what can be seen, isn't always the same as perceived
when this armageddon sets forth on this world
*everything will end*
*my eyes will fail*
i will breathe my last breath
gasping its hard to accept this is the end
of something so beautifully sustained
the balance to light the days and nights
the sky is opening up
& the worlds are tearing apart...
leaving a lone universe

is this the end?¿

The Crystalline Version

Beyond
shattered visions
to be reckoned with
empathetic lies
are now to be denied
deception among desperation
is discretely implied
distance exempts contact
i was confused before
but now i found the light
it burns for false pretenses
coming closer to it
it shuts me out
jealousy clouds your mind
i hear such harsh words being spoken
haven't you noticed
its always the pretty things being broken
so i guess this will break
only to reveal
honesty
confessions
false truth
these revelations far exceed
the horizon i've seen
i now notice nothing
is ever what it seems

Copyright* 2004 CS

Unforeseen Tragedy

Somber Emotion

Drinkin' to numb the pain
you've inflicted on my intent
all i wanted was a reason
a reason worth waking up alone
a reason worth living for
now i know why
i was brought into this world
..to make a difference..
..to make a change..
..to make someone else happy..
the alcohol suppresses everyone ounce
of reason in my mind, sometimes
my sense of security turns false
my actions were proven wrong
all intent to defy the truth
was denied all because of secrets
lies (i've erased from me)
only to find the truth
truth (the only hope left)
i now see that beyond the wall
that you created to shut me in or out
i see that i am not wanted here
my presence brings shame and fear
you have betrayed me
the end to your charades is near

Copyright* 2003 CS

Poetry For A Lost Generation